F3 Knoxville

Author: Lillydipper

Shedding the False Self

THE SCENE: Blue skies and temp about 70 degrees.
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER
WARM-O-RAMA:
20 Side-Straddle-Hops, 10 Bottle Taps, 10 Cherry Pickers, 10 Rockettes, 10 Tempo Squats
THA-THANG:
Mosey to Light Post by Lower Parking Lot near trail that goes towards Lyons Bend Gate Entrance.  We will do Route 66 with the following exercises:

  • Star Jumps
  • Big Boy Sit-ups
  • Iron Mikes with both legs forward = 1

We next will do 14’s with Bear Crawls (Bear Crawl 1 light and Run 4 lights in sequence) until we reach the road that goes to Lyon’s Bend Entrance Gate.  Next, we will do 14’s with Lunges (Lunge 1 light and Run 4 lights in sequence) until we get to the bottom of Mt. Everest.

At Mt Everest we will do 20 Merkins, 30 Squats and 40 Baby Crunches.  Then we will run to the road above the Summit.

Next, we will Mosey south on the roadway until it we are by the big tree as the road heads east toward the stop sign.  We will run down incline by the roadway.  We will then do sevens starting with one Hello Dolly on bottom of incline and six Burpees on top.

Mosey back to AO.

MARY:
20 Box Cutters
COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
9 men, no FNGs
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
I am a psychologist.  I recently looked back on some literature discussing Eric Erickson’s research and theory regarding identity formation in human beings.  Eric Erickson was a German Developmental psychologist who moved to the United States and taught at Harvard, UC Berkeley and Yale.  In his theory regarding identity formation he stated that we humans go through various stages in life that help form our identity.  One stage, which generally occurs in adolescence, but which extends into adulthood, is what he called the stage of Fidelity.  You may have heard of the term “Identity Crisis.”  Erickson was the first to coin it. The conflict the human deals with in this stage is Identity vs. Role Confusion.  The individual grasps with who they are and what they want to become in their life.  That question of “Who Am I” encompasses vocation, sexual, and religious factors, among others.

Some psychologists and psychiatrists, Donald Winnicott being one of the most prominent, also talk about struggle between the False Self and True Self in terms of identity formation.  Winnicott theorized that we humans often take on the role of a false self in forming our identities – that identity relates more to what parents, teachers, or society wants from us than who we are authentically.  Winnicott felt that we are less spontaneous and real when living up to our false self ideals.  We are also more neurotic and psychological unfit when doing so.

If you look back on your adolescence you may remember your own struggles with identity development.  You may, further, remember trying to fit in with the popular crowd, trying to be the cool guy in high school, not wanting to be considered silly or atypical by others.  I can remember my son, Bennett (aka Puddle in F3) talking about changes that occurred for him during this stage.  He was trying to “fit in” with the way he dressed, with sports he played, even with the music he listened to.  He got to a point where he said “to hell with it”, I am going to be me.  He started wearing socks with his sandals because, well, he liked to when it was colder outside.  He later saw other people doing the same thing as him.  He decided he disliked some of the music that high school kids were listening to.  He found he liked Neil Young, Pink Floyd, stuff his Old Man liked.  But in exploring further, he found Indie music with groups that were influenced by artists like Neil Young and Bob Dylan, and groups like Pink Floyd, but who were creating their own music of a different sort.  He has led his Old Man (yours truly) to find and love some of these artists such as Jason Isbell, The Fleet Foxes, Band of Horses, Jack White, Raconteurs, and Shins.  Bennett found in exploring what he truly liked that other friends truly loved this kind of music as well.  And these seemed to be the kinds of people who were more passionate about music.  I remember taking a group of his high school friends to see 70+ old Neil Young play in an outdoor concert near downtown Nashville.  The kids were very into Neil Young as was this Old Man.

We continue to form our identities as we go further into adulthood.  We face identity crises at work, in our love lives, and in our search for what makes life truly meaningful.  Hopefully, we shed some of our false self skin in the process and get closer to our true natures that God gifted us with.  We, after all, were created in God’s image.  And, the Bible actually speaks of us shedding our false self skin, which it calls the “old self” , shedding what the world wants of us, and living out a “new self” which is what God created us for in the first place:

Collossians 2: 9-10:  Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.

1 John 2:15-17: Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

MOLESKIN:
Prayers for Pinto’s mother who is very ill and may be entering the final phase of her life.  Prayer for Pinto as well after injuring his ribs when moving some things for his mother.  Prayers for Messi whose wife has had seizures and may have to be operated on in the hospital.  Prayers for Squirtle’s ex-girlfriend whose 21-year-old daughter recently died of medical issues.

Durn Curmudgeons

THE SCENE: Sunny, temps in low 70s.
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER
WARM-O-RAMA:
Plank raises, 20 Plank Jacks, 10 Rockettes, 10 Cherry Pickers, 8 Wide Arm Circles Forward and Backward
THA-THANG:
Mosey to stop sign on northeast corner of Admin Bldg.  We will go back on the road that semi-circles around the Admin Bldg stopping at various cones to do exercises.  The exercises at each cone are as follows:

  • Cone 1:  10 Burpees.  Then, Barry Sanders to Cone 2.
  • Cone 2:  20 Big Boys.  Then Bear Crawl to Cone 3.
  • Cone 3.  20 Squat Jumps.  Then Mosey past parking lot to Cone 4.
  • Cone 4:  20 Imperial Walkers (both legs = 1).  Then Sprint to Cone 5.
  • Cone 5.  20 Squats.  Then Hop to Cone 6.
  • Cone 6.  20 Merkins.  Then Mosey to Cone 7
  • Cone 7:  20 Hello Dollies (4 count), 20 Iron Mikes, 20 American Hammers, 20 Dying Bugs, 20 Flutter Kicks

Mosey to Shaded Area near Park Entryway off of Northshore.

40 Baby Crunches

Mosey to Bottom of Mt. Everest.  40 Baby Crunches.  Then run up to top of Mt. Everest.

Rinse and Repeat on the 7 cone run on the road that semicircles around the Admin Bldg.

Mosey to AO.

COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
Ten men, no FNGs.
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
Helping the Curmudgeons of the World

As HIMs we try to help others in our community.  Some folks take our help graciously.  Others do not.  Some people are mighty difficult to help.  I have been giving a number of messages about helping such “hard to help” people.  Helping difficult people, the curmudgeons of the world, is hard.  If we can trust that God is also working with them, it might make it easier for us.  Our efforts may not reap rewards quickly.  Rather, we might be planting a seed that will lead to blossoming that is very slow to come.

Furthermore, we must remember that we are sinners ourselves.  The curmudgeon’s pride, disrespect, and lack of kindness may be sinful but that does not make us somehow superior to the curmudgeon.  In fact, the curmudgeon might be able to offer us something that helps us to grow as humans.

A wonderful illustration of how Curmudgeons can involuntarily be helped by others and help others as well is the book A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman.  Ove is a true curmudgeon.  He can be downright rude and cruel to others.  He is 59 years old, has been forced to take retirement, and is pissed about it.  He hates life and wants out of it.  We find out, in the book, that the one person whom he did allow to get close to him was Sonja, his wonderful wife.  She saw beneath his outward stiffness.  But we also learn that Sonja has died of medical causes.

Ove contemplates and tries various ways to kill himself in the book.  But they are foiled by heaven, fate, or crazy people in his life that he just can’t get away from.  Two of those people are Patrick and Parvaneh, new neighbors who back up their U-Hual right over Ove’s mailbox.  Others are an overweight neighbor named Jimmy, a diffident mailman named Adrian, a flamboyantly gay young man named Mirsad, and a crazy cat that keeps on coming around Ove’s house when Ove would like it to go the hell away.  Ove begrudgingly helps each one of these characters (or animals in the book).  He feeds the cat and finally allows it to come into his home.  He helps Jimmy get a job.  He teaches Parvaneh to drive and takes her to the hospital to deliver her baby.  And, these people, also help Ove.  Although he wants out of life, they give him a reason to live.

It isn’t that any of these characters made the choice to help this curmudgeon called Ove or that he sought them out.  Rather, it is through their sloppy, confounding, odd, and downright hilarious interactions and relationships that each character grows – and takes Ove away from the incredible depression that was leading him to try suicide.

So, our interactions with others need not be smooth and on target to derive benefit.  Your attempt to help curmudgeons will be downright difficult and sometimes seem impossible.  But if you can be patient, who knows how God will work in your relationship with the curmudgeon.  You may plant a seed that brings about change.  And, God may work with your relationship in such a way that the doggone curmudgeon actually helps you!

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Iceman gets married Saturday and Hooker’s wife, Carly, is due with baby in April!  Prayers for the aforementioned.

Healing The Wounded

THE SCENE: Humid, temp in low 70’s.
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER
WARM-O-RAMA:
20 Plank Jacks, Plank arm and leg raises, 10 Cherry Pickers, Michael Phelps, Little of This and That.

THA-THANG:
Mosey to Southern Ball Fields Parking Lot.  Do 20 Hello Dollies, four count.

Mosey to perimeter trail near the Pavilion of the south ball fields.  We will do Nickel, Dime, Quarters (run one light do five of exercise, run two lights do ten, run five lights and do 25 of exercise) all the way to the beginning of Cardiac Hill.  These will be the exercises we will go through:

  • Star Jumps
  • Merkins
  • Big Boy Sit-ups
  • Squat Jumps
  • Dive Bombers
  • Imperial Walkers (four count)

At Cardiac Hill we will run up the hill, stopping at each of the turns and finally at the benches to do the following exercises:

  • Turn 1:  20 American Hammers
  • Turn 2:  20 Flutter Kicks
  • Turn 3:  20 Decline Merkins
  • Benches:  Bench Dips
  • Rinse and Repeat

Mosey to parking lot where we keep CMUs.

We will go around the parking lot, stopping at each corner to do exercises.  We go around the parking lot four times, doing the following exercises at each corner:

  • Corner 1:  20 Carolina Dry Docks, 20 Shoulder Taps (both shoulders = 1), 20 Squats, 20 Diamond Merkins  (sprint to Corner 2)
  • Corner 2:  20 Mountain Climbers (four count), 20 Smurf Jacks, 20 Iron Mikes (four count) 10 Burpees (bear crawl to Corner 3)
  • Corner 3: (with CMUs) 20 Overhead Presses, 20 Curls, 20 Rows, 20 Coupon Swings (Bernie Sanders to Corner 4)
  • Corner 4:  20 Bicycle Kicks (four count), 20 Box Cutters, 30 Baby Crunches, 40 “Mississippi second count” Boat Canoe  (Lunge to Corner 1)

Mosey back to AO.

MARY:
30 Baby Crunches
COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
Ten Men, No FNGs.
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
As HIMs, we desire to help others.  But how to we handle people that are difficult to help?  Who resist or slap down our offers of assistance with “yes buts”, turning their backs to you, snide remarks, or an attitude that says either that “people aren’t no damn good” or “to hell with you and your advice.”  In my last message I talked about the need to resist the urge to strike back with caustic words; the need to be patient with such people; and, the need to stay Strong with them hanging in there with them.

One thing that can help you is to try to understand where the person is coming from.  These are often folks who have been hurt in their pasts.  Because of that, they lack trust in others and also lack trust in themselves to overcome difficulties.  There is a song by Nick Cave that, I believe, captures well how past painful experience can lead to a tragic attitude of “people ain’t no damn good.”  Ironically, the name of the song is “People Ain’t No Good.”  I don’t think this is Nick Cave’s stance on life although I am sure that, like all of us, he has certainly felt this way.  Rather, it is the stance of the narrator of the song.

Throughout the song, the refrain is “people they ain’t no good.”  Then we find out more about the narrator.  We find out how he married his love under cherry trees and under blossoms they made their vows.  We hear how the sun would stream on the sheets of their bed, how they were awoken by the morning bird, how they would buy Sunday newspapers but never read a single word due to their love for one another.

But, then we hear about how the winter stripped the blossoms of their love.  How like a fist, the difficulties hit them.  How his wife drew the curtains, made of wedding veils, on the narrator.  And, so the narrator cries, “to our love send a coffin of wood. . . to our love a valentine of blood. . . to our love let all the jilted lovers cry “that people just ain’t no good.”

Then, we hear how others may have tried to help this narrator but how he (and, this is the gut-wrenching tragedy of the story) bitterly turned down their help.  Here are the tragic lines about the people who tried to help him:

It ain’t that in their hearts they’re bad
They can comfort you, some even try
They nurse you when you’re ill of health
They bury you when you go and die
It ain’t that in their hearts they’re bad
They’d stick by you if they could
But that’s just bullshit baby
People just ain’t no good
Through the song, we come to understand the stance of the narrator.  It is a tragic stance but we have empathy for him because we can understand the reason for his pain.  Let us, as HIMs, be patient, be loving, be kind, be strong.  Work to understand those who turn away our attempts at love.  Help those who are bitter to learn that, although all of us screw up, some people are pretty damned good.

MOLESKIN:
Prayer of thanks that Mr. Jinxy received good news from the cardiologist.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
The REWARD at Panera!

Helping those who resist help

THE SCENE: Almost 90, rain and then humid

F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER

THA-THANG:
F3 Iron Pax Challenge, Week 4

COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
8 men, no FNGs
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
Romans 14:13  Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.

Colassians 4:6  Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

 

As HIMs we desire to greet the day with energy, do good for our community, and help or brothers and sisters.  What happens, however, when the people we try to help are not receptive to the assistance we are trying to provide.  What do we do when we put in a great deal of effort to help another and we find them taking no real steps to help themselves.  When they turn down our advice with “yes buts”?  When they answer your attempts at optimism with pessimism”  When their basis stance toward your attempt at community with them is “People ain’t no damn good”?

We as HIMs must learn to have patience with individuals who are so difficult to help – and, frankly, sometimes difficult to like.  Jesus said this:  “Do not resist the one who is evil.  But if anyone slaps you on the right side of the cheek, turn to him the other also”  (Matthew 5:  39).  I don’t think that what Jesus was talking about here was to allow those who assault us to merely do so.  I believe that in this statement Jesus was talking about the approach we must take to people who resist our attempts to love them.  Sometimes we feel we are being slapped when we try to assist others.  Their resistance, their poor attitudes, their chide remarks can make us angry.  Our automatic response, which is certainly understandable, may be “To hell with you!”

But we must stand strong in the storm that hurting people throw at us.  It is the work of the devil in them that leads them to such behavior.  We must learn to keep loving.  That takes the fruits of the spirit:  Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control.  We must allow the onslaught and try to understand what, in the individual’s past, leads to their negative stance.  And, we can certainly go to our kinder brothers and sisters for advice and encouragement on how to hang in there with such people.

MOLESKIN:
Prayer for Mr. Jinxy who goes tomorrow for heart catheter.

Necessary Falling

THE SCENE: Cloudy, low 80s
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER
WARM-O-RAMA:
This a Week 3 of the Iron Pax Challenge so we will stretch for one minute then get straight to the work out
THA-THANG:
We will do the following exercises for Week 3 of the Iron Pax Challenge for 43 minutes.  After 43 minutes, each man will see how many reps he did of the exercises.  Each man will rinse and repeat after he goes through the round of exercises until the 43 minutes are over.  Here are the exercises:

  • 10 Pull-Ups
  • 15 Cross-Over Burpees
  • 20 Coupon Curls
  • 25 Coupon Squat Thrusters
  • 30 Gas Pumps (reverse crunches)

COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
Five men, no FNGs.
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
Have you ever watched infants trying to walk?  They pull themselves up via a nearby item or a parental hand.  They take a step and . . . fall. They try it again, wobble and . . . fall.  The falling doesn’t deter them.  They keep after it, fall after fall.  Infants learn to walk by learning to fall.  

My son, Puddle (Bennett Neece) loves to ski as do I.  I observed him the first day he learned to ski.  I didn’t give the lesson . . . he was involved with other Boy Scouts in a group lesson.  I skied for a while and came back to observe him later.  He was covered in snow but going for it down the mountain, speeding along, trying to make a turn and falling like a madman, ski poles flying, skis going in opposite directions.  He laughed, tromped through the snow, got the gear back, put his skis on and went right back at it down the mountain.  I knew after that day that he was going to be a good skier.  Why?  He was willing to fall.  Others in his group were much more tentative.  Bennett didn’t mind falling.  And because he didn’t mind falling, he learned rapidly.  Good skiers learn to ski by learning to fall.

You have figured out where this message is going.  In any important endeavor we take on in life, we learn to succeed by learning to fall.  Screwing up at the task is not a failure.  It is simply a necessary fall that we must be willing to learn from.  We don’t learn well by winning all the time.

Movement, growth and success involve falling.  This is true in everything.  And, it involves the willingness to risk falling.  If you want to move up the ladder vocationally, it involves the risk of messing up on more difficult tasks. If you want to date that beautiful girl, it involves the risk of being rejected.  If you want an audience to hear your message, it involves the risk of embarrassment when you speak.  If you want to sell a product it involves the risk of being hung up or having the door slammed in your face.

God knows that we must fall.  Ironically, we become stronger spiritually through falling.  The falling brings us closer to Him for we yearn for his help when we fall.  We also learn more about ourselves when we fall.  And, we relate more to people, understanding them better when they fall.  Blessed our those who mourn.  And blessed our those who get back up, shake themselves off, and try it all over again.

MOLESKIN:
Prayers for Thunderstruck’s mother, father and grandfather.  Prayers for the mother of Squirtle’s coworker.