F3 Knoxville

Tag: High-Heels

Respond

THE SCENE: Blue skies, temp in low 80s.

F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER
WARM-O-RAMA:
Motivators, starting with seven.  10 twisties.  10 Cherry Pickers.  10 Windmills.  Michael Phelps and a Little of This and That.

THA-THANG:

Mosey to the southeastern corner of the Admin Bldg.  We will stop to do 20 Dead Bugs (4 count) and 20 Flutter Kicks (4 count).

Mosey to the parking lot that is east of the Utility Bldg.  We will do Doras.  While one partner runs to the other end of the parking lot and does 10 Merkins, the other partner works on the exercises.  Partners then switch.  Here are the exercise the partners do as a team:

  • 100 Iron Mikes (both legs = 1)
  • 100 Box Cutters
  • 100 Big Boy Sit-ups
  • 100 Bicycle Kicks (four count)

Mosey to the perimeter trail by the gate at Northshore and head north on the trail to the shady area past the Utility Bldg.  We will stop to do 20 Jump Squats and 40 Baby Crunches.

Next we will run north and then west on the perimeter trail.  We will run for 4 lights and lunge for one light, continuing that process until we reach the area where the trail splits.  We will stop there to do 20 Hello Dollies.

Next, we will run up Roadshow Run.  Men should do 10 calve raises at each set of steps and do 5 Burpees after each set of steps.  Those getting to the Bat Cave first should do Baby Crunches until the six arrives.

Slow Mosey and then Bernie to big tree that is northwest of Admin Bldg.  Then, sprint to parking lot.  Then slow mosey back to AO.

MARY:
10 Squats, 20 Leg Raises.
COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
15 men with an FNG whom we dubbed “Woodstop.”  His hospital name is Mac Whipple and he is the son of Rooney.

CIRCLE OF TRUTH:

RESPOND

In F3 we talk about having each other’s back. We talk about connecting with our brothers in time of need.  To me, that is one of the beautiful things about F3.  I consider you guys my brothers and I know that if I am down, I could call on you and you would respond. I hope each of you know that you can call on us if you are in trouble and we will try to figure out a way to help.  I want to say something about this, however, as I don’t want anyone to have false expectations about what your brothers can give.

As a therapist, I have seen clients of mine make the mistake of making faulty presumptions about what good people can give them.  I have seen patients get injured, lose jobs that they were at for years, have life changes that put them in a bad place.  Certainly, after life altering injuries, these folks can use friends.  Some of these patients get mighty depressed . . . in their depression they may get hopeless . . . and, in their hopelessness they may get cynical.  I hear some of them say that they thought they had friends, but after their lives took a spiral downward, they found they had no friends.  They complain of no longer getting phone calls or visits from others.  They start thinking of people as selfish and cold.

While I believe that there are some self-interested and cold people out there, I also believe that those who say they have no friends, those who say people are disinterested, are themselves a major part of the problem.  They themselves are not responding to the people reaching out to them.  I have seen this difficulty occur not only with some patients in my practice but amongst a few brothers in F3.  When I reach out to brothers in a time of crisis or pain, how AM I RESPONDING to them?  That becomes critical if my brothers are going to help me.

First, when in need we should realize that our friends have lives of their own.  They are managing their jobs, their families, and lives that may be just as difficult as our own.  They cannot be there for us 24/7.  Respect that. Set up a time to meet with your friend.  Respect that he or she may be busy and may only have an hour or two for you.  Don’t always expect them to call on you.  They have other people to think about.  Call on them.  I remember living in Dallas and calling on my pastor at a time of great difficulty. He was a very fine man, someone I truly admired.  But, I also realized his time was limited.  We set up some time on a Tuesday night to speak to each other at a place of his convenience.  That hour I spent with him has stuck to my ribs to this very day.  I am so thankful for it.

Second, we need to realize how we are coming across to the people we call on.  Are we listening to what they have to say to us or are we just moving on with our own agenda?  Those we call on need to know that they are being responded to.  Why should they give their time to someone who shuns their advice, their coming to see us, their friendship?  If you’re depressed, you don’t need to be jumping for joy when they speak to you.  But, thank them for their time with us.  And, if you want them to continue to be there for you, listen to what they say.

Finally, show an interest in them.  I ask some of those complaining patients how their “friends” are doing.  They often don’t know.  When in need, it is natural to focus on ourselves, but don’t exclude others by taking no interest in them.  No matter how wounded we are, we can still care for others.  Heck, our pets DEMAND that we show interest in them.  I remember times when I was so sad or mad that I didn’t want to be bothered by anyone or anything.  Along would come Ol Jasper Dog, placing his paw on my knee and demanding to be petted.  I would think, you should be rubbing my head fella.  But, scratching his head or belly for a few minutes, I was usually feeling better.  The act of reaching out itself helps to cure us.

Finally, remember that while your friends have their own lives and cannot be in two places at once, God can be everywhere at once.  Call on your friends but also call on God.  He is Ever Present in our time of need.
MOLESKIN:
Prayers for Pop A Top’s friend whose wife recently passed away; for the future mother-in-law of Steam whose cancer is now in remission but who is having a difficult time with radiation; for Pusher in his travels to the Philippines where he will visit for his father’s 85th birthday; and prayers of praise that Mr. Jinxy’s automobile accident related lawsuit settled.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Convergence on July 2 at JUCO.

Tabata and Hills

THE SCENE: mid 70s, partly sunny, humid as heck after the storms
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER

Welcome to F3, Fitness, Fellowship and Faith. F3 is a free workout program designed to improve fitness, share some camaraderie, and foster male leadership in the community.  I’m Pele and I will be your Q today.  I am not a professional, and I do not know your fitness level or injury history.  Please push yourself, but modify the workout as necessary to avoid making any existing injuries worse.  The goal is to get better together!


WARM-O-RAMA:

-30 Split Jacks (4-ct), 15 each leg, in cadence

– 10 Windmills (4-ct), in cadence

– 10 Plank Jacks

– 20 Grady Corns (4-ct), in cadence

  • 10 Steave Earles, (4-ct), in cadence
  • 10 LBCs small and wide (4-ct), forward and backward in cadence

Run to tree down the road, 5 squat jumps, Bernie back

THA-THANG:

TABATA 1 (20 seconds exercise, 10 seconds rest, 4 rounds = 2 minutes per exercise x 5 exercises = 10 minutes per round)

  • Plank Jacks
  • Mountain Climbers
  • Catalina wine mixers
  • Bottle Openers

RUN DOWN STAIRS, OVER TO BASE OF SUMMIT, UP SUMMIT, BACK TO BAT HOUSE.  At EACH “CORNER” DO 15 SMURF JACKS

TABATA 2

  • American Hammers
  • Gas Pumps
  • Wide Flutter Kicks

RUN LOOP, DO 15 BOBBY HURLEYS

TABATA 3

  • High Knees
  • Squats
  • Lunges

RUN LOOP, DO 15 DESONSTRUCTED BURPEES

MARY:
No time for Mary today.
COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
13 strong. Pop a top not tagged.
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:

Fellows, it’s been a difficult past couple of weeks for our AO.  We recently, had to part ways with a brother, and that’s just not something we ever want to do.   I have to admit I lost a lot of sleep over it.  And the situation made me consider the fine line between holding someone accountable versus judging someone.  We try to do the former in F3, but stay away from the latter, but sometimes that’s a tough distinction.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines accountability as an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions, while judgmental is defined as “characterized by a tendency to judge harshly”.  After thinking about it a little more, I came up with sort of my own definition of these terms… accountability is holding someone responsible for norms, traditions, rules, etc. that are broadly accepted by a group, while being judgmental is passing judgment on whether someone measures up to your own PERSONAL ideas or notions.

As I’ve expressed in Slack, I feel it’s VERY important to refrain from publicly passing judgment on our fellow brothers, because when you do so it inevitably causes rifts.  Disagreement is fine, but if you have something you object to, I think it’s always best to have a private discussion about it.

Before parting ways, the former member of our group first passed judgment on our AO in terms of how we uphold the Second F (Fellowship), then passed judgment on an individual in terms of his interpretation of the Bible and his message, and finally, in a parting message to me, passed judgment on me (and, more broadly, our entire group) in challenging our religious beliefs, patriotism, and leadership.

Although I’m not perfect about it, I try to refrain from passing judgment on others.  I have my own belief system, and sure, I appreciate seeing qualities in others that follow a similar system, but I try not to denigrate or think ill of those who have other beliefs.  But let’s face it… we all judge others, and on a pretty regular basis.  It’s part of our DNA, as far I’m concerned.  But there’s a difference in making that determination of judgment internally, and publically attempting to coerce others to conform to your perception of how things should be.  The latter is something that I feel we need to avoid in F3, which was intentionally formed as a very inclusionary group of men.  If you were here a few Saturday’s ago, we had a Guest Q from Chattanooga that emphasized F3s core mission: to plant, grow and serve small workout groups for men for the invigoration of male community leadership.  That’s it.  There are certain components to every F3 workout, and one of those is the Word, followed by the Ball of Man.  I can honestly say that I have personally disagreed with at least a small portion of just about every Word, but also that is OVERHELMED by the amount of wisdom and perspective that I have received.

In closing, I found a couple of statements that I thought really hit the nail on the head when it comes to being Judgmental :

Judgment is the basis for separation, which is the ego’s goal. When we judge a brother or sister, be it in thought or action, we create a sense of separation.

You will save yourself and others years of stress, anger, disappointment and resentment if you allow your brothers and sisters to follow their own hearts. If your brothers and sisters know that they can come to you for advice without criticism and judgment attached to it, you will forever be their sounding board. However, if you end up judging and criticizing their efforts and decisions they will put up walls every time you question or try to advise them.

– James Blanchard Cisneros, Author of You Have Chosen to Remember: A
Journey from Perception to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy, p. 91-92

Born in Geneva, Switzerland. He grew up in Caracas, Venezuela and obtained his B.S. and MBA degrees in the United States. James states “My grandfather served in WWII as a colonel in the United States Marines, my father was a Vietnam Army veteran. After the Vietnam experience, my father wanted to break the cycle and protect us from a future draft. So he arranged for my brother and myself to be born in Geneva, Switzerland (a neutral nation), so that we could choose to refrain from the next conflict if that was our choice.”

James 4:11-12

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?

Romans 16:17 

I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them.

MOLESKIN:
Great to see Sparkler out there, and Pop a Top killed it in his second workout.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Speedway launch Saturday at 6 am, Convergence July 2!

Pyramid Workout

THE SCENE: Rainy 65 degrees


F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER DONE
WARM-O-RAMA:

Side straddle hop

Merkins in cadence

Imperial walker in cadence

Twisties in cadence

Baby Arm circle

Reverse

Overhead clap

Cherry picker

Stretching calves


THA-THANG:

Pyramid All Body Workout

1st Arm Galore exercises

Merkins 10X

Carolina Dry docks 20 X

Dips 30 X

Irkins 40X

Derkins 50X

Mosey 1 lap around cones then back down to Irkins, Dips, Dry Docks and Merkins then Rinse and repeat

2nd Leg workout

Jump squats 10X

Squats 20X

Lunge single leg 30X (15 each leg)

Bobby Hurleys 40 X

Lunge and 1 leg at the back of the bench 50X (25 each leg)

Mosey 1 lap around cones then back Rinse and repeat

3rd Ab workout

Bigboy Sit ups 10X

LBC 20 X

Hello Dolly 30 X

Flutter Kicks 40 X double count

Reverse Pickle pounder 50X

Mosey 1 lap around cones then back Rinse and repeat

Mosey to the Lillie pad parking to the baseline 1st workout

Each light pole stop for 10 Squats

Mosey to 1st pole and Bernie Sanders to the 2nd and Mosey to 3rd and mosey back to the baseline

2 nd

Same sequence but each light pole Raise the Roof 10X.

Walk half and Sprint back to the AO

COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
A 9 HIMs getting better
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:


Word of the day: 3 important things about Life

1 Life is Hard-work

2nd You need to have Faith

3rd Grace. Wait for God’s Grace.

Thank you for F3 for making us a better Men.

No Flame Blower Outers Here

THE SCENE: ‘Bout 88 and breezy
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER done
WARM-O-RAMA:
SSH, rockettes, this and that, runners stretch, and cherry pickers
THA-THANG:
Insert information about the workout.

  • Take all CMUs down 2 flights of stairs, 20 8 ct Spiders, CMU curls until the 6.
  • Bring CMUs up one flight, Run to road; 50 V Sit OH Claps, Run to trees; 50 kneel ups, Return to center, CMU curls until the 6.
  • Bring CMUs to the top and take them to the Bowl
  • Battle Buddy: one runs around the bench; the other Rows, OH Press, squats
  • Change Battle Buddy: one walks the CMU, the other does 20 Squats, run, catch, switch, repeat
  • In the Pit, 360 Merkins (L and R) return CMUs to Flag

COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
12 Fake Gloomers
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:

Adapted from Brene Brown’s “Atlas of the Heart” Chapter 2.

Schadenfreude is a compound of the German words “schaden” meaning harm and “freude” meaning joy.  Schadenfreude simply means, “pleasure or joy derived from someone else’s suffering or misfortune”.  And the world is full of it these days.

Schadenfreude is an emotion typically born out of inferiority rather than superiority.  It is also born out of fear, powerlessness, and a sense of deservedness.  Schadenfreude involves counter empathy, where our emotional reaction is incongruent with another person’s emotional experience.

While schadenfreude may be fun to say, it’s a tough emotion.  There’s a cruelty and insecurity about it.  Taking pleasure in someone else’s failings, even if that person is someone we really dislike, can violate our values and lead to feelings of guilt and shame.

When we feel schadenfreude, it shuts down the area of our brain we use when feeling empathy and lights up areas of the brain that make us feel good and entices us to engage in similar behaviors in the future.  Schadenfreude is especially seductive when we are sucked into groupthink.

It’s easy to build counterfeit connection with collective schadenfreude.  When we see someone who we don’t like, disagree with, or is outside of our group stumble, fall, or fail, it’s tempting to celebrate that suffering together and to stir up collective emotion.  That kind of bonding might feel good for a moment, but nothing that celebrates the humiliation or pain of another person builds lasting connection.

We often don’t talk about our schadenfreude because it can make us feel shame or guilt.  This came up a lot during the pandemic when vaccinated people struggled with feelings of schadenfreude towards anti-VAX folks who were diagnosed with COVID.

From the book:  I remember thinking one day, “It this who I want to be?  Someone who celebrates people getting sick or dying?”  I would justify it by saying they were threatening my health and the health of the people I love. In the end I couldn’t make it work with my values.  I mean, I’m still angry, but without a viable accountability strategy, it’s hard not to let schadenfreude take over.

Freuden-freude is the opposite of schadenfreude.  It’s the enjoyment of another’s success.  When others report success to us, they generally hope for an empathic response of shared joy.  Which is freuden-freude.

If instead they get a negative, competitive reaction, they may respond with confusion, disappointment, irritation, or all three.  Ongoing lack of freuden-freude can eventually pose a fatal challenge to a relationship, and in turn, repeated relationship failures often produce depression.  We suspect that depressed folks might exhibit deficiencies in freuden-freude.

Brown concludes with…In teaching our kids how to cultivate meaningful connection with the people in their lives, we’ve always told them that good friends are not afraid of your light and never blow out your flame.  And you don’t blow out their flame.  Even when their flame is really bright and it makes you worry about your own flame.

When something good happens to you, they celebrate your flame.  When something good happens to them, you celebrate their flame.

We always have our kids hold out there hands, palms flat, and say “If this is your flame and the wind picks up, good friends cups their hands around your flame to keep it from going out.  And you do the same for them.”

We have always said, “No flame blower outers” and that’s our way of saying less schadenfreude and more freuden-freude.

What does this mean for the men of F3?

  • Look anywhere in the world right now and you will see people deriving joy from other’s failures or misfortune.
  • Schadenfreude can make you feel good and really get stirred up in groups of like-minded individuals…and we are a group…so we have to watch ourselves.
  • Because it’s an emotion that rewards the brain, we need an accountability strategy to be sure it doesn’t take over. We need to be that accountability for one another.
  • As leaders in our community, we need to ensure we are protecting and celebrating everyone’s flame. Remember, “no flame blower outers here”.
  • And if we are being good leaders, we will take joy in seeing other’s flames shine even brighter.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
We have Goober in our thoughts and prayers.

The Asylum PM’rs Take On The Compound

[ The Scene ]

  • 70s
  • Hot
  • Character building
  • Pre-Ruck with Guppy

[ Welcome/Disclaimer ]

  • Welcome to F3: Fitness – Fellowship – Faith
  • My name is Steam and I’ll be your Q this morning
  • A few things before we begin:
    • I’m not a professional
    • You’re here on your own belief
    • You know your injuries if you have any so if you need to modify anything we do today feel free to do so, but push yourselves and the men around you. They deserve it and so do you.
  • FNGs?

[ Warm o Rama ]

  • 10×4 Around the Clock Lunges (12, 3, 6, 9)
  • 10×4 Cherry Pickers
  • 10×4 Windmill
  • 10×4 merkins 
  • 10×4 SSH

Cash-In with some ATMs

[ The Thang ]

(Mosey to The Compound)

(1) The Timeless Classic: 11s

  • but since today is the 10th, we’ll just do 10s
  • Here: Merkins
  • There: Star jacks
    • (9 + 1, 8 + 2, etc)

(2) Battle Buddy Bays

  • 3 POCs or “bays”
  • 1 BB will wall sit up here + execute raise the roofs until recovered
  • 1 BB will run to the bay and execute 25 reps of an exercise at each of the 3 bays.
    • Bay 1: Merkins
    • Bay 2: Bobby Hurleys
    • Bay 3: LBCs
  • So you and your BB team will graduate from 1 bay to the next. Each BB will complete the X for each bay
  • The wall sits remain the same throughout

(3) There And Back Again

  • 2 POCs: The Compound + The Dock
  • Compound: triad merkins and run to The Dock
    • 1 reg, 1 wide, 1 diamond
    • Run up tue platform and back down, and then up to The Dock
  • The Dock: triad of squats
    • 1 reg, 1 sumo, 1 together and then run back to The Compound
  • Rinse and Repeat, adding 1 rep to each station (round 2: 2 reg, 2 wide, 2 diamond + 2 reg, 2 sumo, 2 together) until you complete 5 reps of each triad.
  • Recover at The Compound

[ Mary ]

American Indian run back up to the AO

BTTW (Balls To The Wall) to the AO about 50 yards out

[ COT ]

  • # off — 9
  • Name o Rama
    • Guppy, Brick, Drum Major, Crispr, High-Heels, F6, Mr. Jinxy, Rooney, Steam
  • FNGs — 0
  • BOM

For my BOM tonight, I’m going to try and listen to myself as I talk, because I really need to hear this, and I feel like this was  put on my heart to share as well, and just maybe, you’ll find some things that will apply to your life as well.

I’d like to start off by sharing a story.

Last night, I was asked to play goalie in my fiancé’s soccer game with her brother and some of the women she coaches at Johnson University. Now I played soccer growing up, and while I did play church league soccer, I also played competitively, but I was always a midfielder or forward. I ran and kicked, I didn’t block. So after some prompting from both my fiancé and future brother in law to play goalie, I said okay, knowing that this was about to be way better than I expected, or way worse than I expected. So we took the field and I was pretty pumped up.

Now I didn’t get too upset when the first 2 goals were scored on me, but man, the last 5 were brutal. One of the 5 was between my legs, another one out of the 5 I mis-timed and tipped it back into the goal for an own goal, and yet another one out of the 5 was shot from midfield and sailed past my head. I was furious. I was ashamed. I was humiliated. I was disappointed. I was upset. I used an expletive or 3 both in my head and out loud. I had failed. I had let the team down. I wasn’t good enough. I was furious with myself for my performance. Even in the midst of my fiancé, future brother in law, and some of the other collegiate women who were on the team’s “Hey you did great” and “We’re just out here to have fun” and “You did way better than I would have done” my internal programming and messaging screamed LIAR. FALSE. INCORRECT. NOT TRUE. I don’t want to be consoled, or comforted or your pity, I know how badly I did out there. After a hasty and very unloving hug and “I love you” I have my fiancé, I sped out of that parking lot in rage for how poorly I had performed.

One thing my fiancé said to me before I left was “You have to stop beating yourself up about this. You need to quit being so hard on yourself.” To which I replied a measly “yeah.” My internal response to this in that moment and all the way home and as I went to bed last night and woke up this morning was “NO I DON’T HAVE TO. I CAN’T STOP. I FAILED AND I AM GOING TO LET MYSELF KNOW IT. IF I STOP BEING HARD ON MYSELF AND BEATING MYSELF UP I WON’T BE GOOD ENOUGH. Whoah…..there’s something deeper there. My fiancé has not heard me communicate any of this to her yet, but she knows me well enough to know what type of humiliating and self-deprecating dialogue was going on internally for me.

Maybe you’ve heard these things before:

  • I’m my own harshest critic
  • I’m so hard on myself
  • I just beat myself up about this or that

As those goals continued to pummel me throughout the game, I kept thinking “Cmon Dan you’re better than this. You should be doing better than this. You’re failing. Goal after goal after goal, the same mental assault crashed like waves on a beach, louder and louder.

Until I realized this – and honestly the Holy Spirit loved me so well in this moment and helped me realize: You’ve never played goalie before Dan. Why did you think that? Why did you think you would be so much better than this? Why did you allow yourself to set standards of near perfection that you were never going to achieve? You’re destroying yourself mentally. I’ve never played goalie before guys. But it didn’t matter, I showed up and gave it my all, shouldn’t I have been better than this?! I MEAN CMON.

And maybe you’ve found yourself on the wrong side of a mental fuse the enemy has lit. And all he has to do is sit back and watch you start to believe that lie a little bit more and a little bit more until you’re furious. And humiliated. And have talked yourself out of grace, mercy, gratitude, and love.

As men we can be so hard on ourselves and beat ourselves up until we are mentally and emotionally and spiritually black and blue. STOP IT. Go easy on yourself. If you’re too hard on yourself like I typically am, here is something I found today, or that found me today, that helped take back some lost ground, mentally.

Three Warning Signs That You’re Too Hard On Yourself

https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/am-i-too-hard-on-myself

            1. First, you’re being too hard on yourself if your failures to meet your standards result in a depressed loss of joy in the Lord.

“Christ has made you his own. That changes everything about how you run your race.”

            1. Second, it’s evidence of a person’s being too hard on himself if his failures result in hurtful anger: hurtful toward himself, inclining him toward habits that are self-destructive, or hurtful toward others.
            1. Third, it’s evidence that he’s being too hard on himself if his failures produce paralyzing fear or anxiety about approaching the tasks of his life. If he feels like he’s fallen short so often that he loses the capacity to attempt anything of significance, it’s evidence that he’s being too hard on himself in the sense that he’s not trusting Christ for the ability to keep him going.

So maybe we change the mental conversation and quit being so hard on ourselves as men. And maybe it sounds something like this:

“I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3:12-14‬ ‭MSG‬‬ (https://bible.com/bible/97/php.3.12-14.MSG)