Matlock (Bill Maddox) – F3 Knoxville

Not Spring Break

March 11, 2026 BackBlasts

AO: asylum-am
Q: Hands
PAX: Fardeen Rastagar, Pac-man, Cosmo 2, Waffle House (Brady Greene), Cinco (Scott McGuire), Double Wide, Hands, Matlock (Bill Maddox), Tropicana, Hot Tub (John Muller)
FNGs: None
COUNT: 10
WARMUP:
SSH, froggy squats, planks, TN rocking chair, rockettes, stretching

THE THANG:
Impossible parking lot lap-
Lap 1 – broad jump burpees
Lap 2 – bear crawl
Lap 3 – lunges
Lap 4 – jog
Then did 5 minute timer of running up Baby E, 20 Merkins 20 Big bois at the bottom, Bernie up, repeat. Next round was shoulder taps and flutter kicks.
MARY:
10 partner merkins and 20 partner big bois.
More stretching.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Haw Ridge.
Software update on the way.
COT:
What are the 5 smooth stones God has given you to face life’s battles?

For Educational Purposes

March 6, 2026 BackBlasts

AO: asylum-am
Q: Waffle House (Brady Greene)
PAX: Tropicana, Cinco (Scott McGuire), Hands, Matlock (Bill Maddox), Cat Gut (Mike Davis), Cosmo 2, Fardeen Rastagar, Hands, Sawdust, Waffle House (Brady Greene)
FNGs: None
COUNT: 10 but missing one welshman
Today’s Q was planned for the benefit of @Blowhole, a young Welshman eager to experience all East Tennessee has to offer. The plan was to educate him about our disputatious nature and our history of crankiness, so by not showing up he proved he fit right in.

He did miss out on a decade of health and happiness, however, when the Junk Science was offered to all present. Shoulders were well blasted then shaken out in preparation for the Cloud’s very own Jack Webb. Jack is never easy.

As we made our way to Cardiac (as is my custom) I wondered if more people than just Matlock (Bill Maddox) labor under the misapprehension that Waffle House Qs are occasionally spirit led. Nothing could be further from the truth! I plan meticulously; I just don’t have any imagination.

Prayers for our old friend who we miss having out there in the gloom; prayers for a family going through something truly awful; gratitude for our being out there together another day.

>From Between Noon and Three by Robert Farrar Capon: “…it is Jesus who is your life. If he refused to condemn you because your works were rotten, he certainly isn’t going to flunk you because your faith isn’t so hot. You can fail utterly, therefore, and still live the life of grace. You can fold up spiritually, morally, or intellectually and still be safe.
Because at the very worst, all you can be is dead – and for him who is the Resurrection and the Life, that just makes you his cup of tea.”

Bait and switch

March 5, 2026 BackBlasts

AO: asylum-am
Q: Hands
PAX: P3, Waffle House (Brady Greene), Hands, Matlock (Bill Maddox), Snitch (Cory Beilharz ), Borg, Casey Kasem (Jess), Tropicana, Sawdust, Blowhole
FNGs: 1 Blowhole
COUNT: 10
WARMUP:
SSH, froggy squats, high knees, butt kickers, tie fighters, tempo merkins
THE THANG:
Trotted over to the Grand Lawn to do a Waxjob Q – Crazy 48’s :tm:
Round 1 do a lap, 48 squats
Round 2 at the 1/2 way point and end of the lap, 24 4 ct flutter kicks and 24 squats
Round 3 at the four corners, 12 4 ct mountain climbers, 12 4 ct flutter kicks, 12 squats
Round 4 at the 4 corners and the 2 1/2 points on one leg of the lap (6 stops total) do 8 HR merkins, 8 4ct mountain climbers, 8 4 ct flutter kicks, 8 squats
Round 5 make a figure 8 and at each turn do 6 burpees, 6 of all the other exercises
We only got 1/2 way done and had to return to the AO. This workout was too crazy to complete by 6:15.
The pax was most discouraged that we had no time for broga. This was an epic Q fail. The Q promises to have a dedicated broga day on a Tuesday or Thursday soon.
Snitch (Cory Beilharz ) did remind us how to start leading and exercise and the proper phraseology thereof. However, we learned he does not have equivalent skill in ending an exercise. You can’t have it all I guess.
MARY:
She laughed at the Q’s time mismanagement
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Haw Ridge
We talked about the upcoming Fardeen Rastagar BBQ. More details to come.
Go hiking with Pac-man Friday morning.
COT:
I need to make a big change. I am scared but not paralyzed.
We welcomed Casey Kasem (Jess) ‘s friend from Wales – Blowhole. (get it? Wales, whale, …)

Thing 1 and Thing 2

March 4, 2026 BackBlasts

AO: asylum-am
Q: Cinco (Scott McGuire)
PAX: Casey Kasem (Jess), Cosmo 2, Rainbow, F3 Pluto ( Hugh Nystrom), Cinco (Scott McGuire), Double Wide, Suds, Hands, Matlock (Bill Maddox), Pac-man, Hot Tub (John Muller), P3, Gibbler, Cat Gut (Mike Davis)
FNGs: None
COUNT: 15
WARMUP:

SSH
Misc Stretching

THE THANG:

Count off Thing 1 & Thing 2

🏃 Mosey to Toilet Bowl (¼ mile)
⸻
Partner Bump Workout
Thing 1 starts halfway on route
200 Jump Squats (team)
Thing 2 jumps / partner runs → switch on bump
200 Merkins (team)
Same format
200 Big Boy Sit-ups (team)
Same format
⸻
🏃 Mosey to Muscle Beach
⸻
Pull-Up Station
Thing 1 alternate:
10 pull-ups each round
Rest while Thing 2 works
➡ Goal: 40 pull-ups per person

MARY:

No time for Hairy Mary

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

COT:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV
bible.com/bible/111/ecc.4.9-10.NIV

40 days in the wilderness

March 3, 2026 BackBlasts

AO: asylum-am
Q: Tropicana
PAX: Pac-man, Snitch (Cory Beilharz ), Casey Kasem (Jess), Waffle House (Brady Greene), Sawdust, Matlock (Bill Maddox)
FNGs: None
COUNT: 7
WARMUP: BBQ squats, cherry pickers, Abe’s, stretches, tempo mericans

THE THANG:
Stay circled up at the light pole.
Matthew Chapter 4

CMU work

Fasting
Squat and overhead
Stones to bread
Overhead to right
Overhead to left
The Pinnacle
Good morning with extension
Worship me
Barbarian Clean

10 reps each
Short rest and repeat

Did 6 rounds suffering with Jesus in the wilderness.

MARY: Some core and some stretching

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Haw Ridge
Pac-man Friday hike the smokies all day. See details in the am and pm slacks.
COT:Matthew 4:1 et seq

“Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And after fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. And the tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.”“But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Then the devil took him to the holy city and set him on the pinnacle of the temple and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down, for it is written, “‘He will command his angels concerning you,’ and “‘On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.’” Jesus said to him, “Again it is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’” Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written, “‘You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.’” Then the devil left him, and behold, angels came and were ministering to him.”
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