F3 Knoxville

Tag: Flashback

Pillars of Joy

THE SCENE: Flake Gloom at it’s finest
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER done
WARM-O-RAMA:
SSH, this and that, cherry pickers, rockettes, imperial walkers
THA-THANG:
Insert information about the workout.

  • 8 Rounds Dora – One HIM runs while the other HIM:  squats, calf raises, merkins, spider mans, LBCs, hello dolly, plank jacks, SSH
  • Laps – Four Corners – Lap One 8 squat 8 calf raise per spot, Lap Two 8 merkins 8 spider mans per spot, Lap Three 8 LBCs 8 hello dolly per spot, Lap Four 8 plank jacks 8 SSH per spot

COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
16
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
In my last Q – I spoke about “The Book of Joy” and the Obstacles to Joy:  fear, stress, anxiety, frustration, anger, loneliness, envy, suffering & adversity.  Tonight, I’ll touch on the second part of the book, which is the “Eight Pillars of Joy”.

  1. Perspective

We suffer from perspective myopia. We are nearsighted and unable to see our experience in a larger way.  With a wider perspective, we can see our situation and all those involved in a larger context. By seeing the many conditions and circumstances that have led to our situation, we can recognize that our perspective is not the whole truth.

This wider perspective also leads us beyond our own self-regard. Self-centeredness is our default perspective, and it comes from the fact that we are at the center of our world.  But, when we take the perspective of others, we can recognize that we do not control all aspects of any situation.

  1. Humility

Our vulnerabilities, frailties, and limitations are a reminder that we need one another. We are not created for independence or self-sufficiency, but for interdependence and mutual support.

None of us are immune to the traits of pride and ego, but arrogance comes from insecurity. Needing to feel that we are bigger than others comes from a nagging fear that we are smaller.

  1. Humor

Ultimately, I think it’s about being able to laugh at yourself and being able to not to take yourself so seriously.

There are people who think they must be somber because it gives them gravitas, and they feel they are more likely to be respected if they are serious. But I believe that one of the ways into people’s hearts is the capacity to make them laugh. If you can laugh at yourself, then everyone knows you’re not pompous.

If you start looking for the humor in life, you will find it. You will stop asking, “Why me?” and start recognizing that life happens to all of us.

  1. Acceptance

Once we can see life with a wider perspective, we can see our role with humility, and can laugh at ourselves, we get to the final quality of mind, which is the ability to accept our life in all its pain, imperfection, and beauty.

We cannot succeed by denying what exists. The acceptance of reality is the only place from which change can begin.  Acceptance allows us to move into the fullness of joy. It allows us to engage with life on its own terms rather than rail against the fact that life is not as we would wish.

  1. Forgiveness

Forgiveness does not mean you forget what someone has done, contrary to the saying “forgive and forget.” Not reacting with negativity, or giving in to the negative emotions, does not mean you do not respond to the acts, or that you just allow yourself to be harmed again. Forgiveness does not mean you do not seek justice.

Where a wrong action is concerned, it may be necessary to take appropriate response, but you can choose not to develop anger or hatred. This is the power of forgiveness – in not losing sight of the humanity of the person while responding to the wrong with clarity and firmness.

  1. Gratitude

Gratitude allows us to shift our perspective toward all we have been given and all that we have. It moves us away from the narrow-minded focus on fault and lack and to the wider perspective of benefit and abundance. It is not happiness that makes us grateful. It is gratefulness that makes us happy.

When you are grateful, you act out of a sense of enough and not out of a sense of scarcity, and you are willing to share. If you are grateful, you are enjoying the differences between people and respectful to all people.

Impermanence is the nature of life. All things are slipping away, and there is a real danger of wasting our precious human life. Gratitude helps us catalog, celebrate, and rejoice in each day and each moment before they slip through the vanishing hourglass of experience.

  1. Compassion

Compassion is a sense of concern that arises when we are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to see that suffering relieved. It connects the feeling of empathy to acts of kindness and generosity.  We are most joyful when we focus on others, and not on ourselves. Bringing joy to others is the fastest way to experience joy oneself.

One difference between empathy and compassion is that empathy is experiencing another’s emotion, whereas compassion is a more empowered state where we want what is best for the other person. If we see a person who is being crushed by a rock, the goal is not to get under the rock and feel what they are feeling; it is to help remove the rock.

  1. Generosity

It seems that money can buy happiness, if we spend it on other people. People experience greater happiness when they spend money on others compared to when they spend it on themselves.

There are ways to give beyond our money. There are three kinds of generosity: material giving, giving freedom from fear, and spiritual giving.  Start giving from where you are and realize that you are not meant to resolve all problems on your own. But do what you can.

When we practice a generosity of spirit, we are practicing all the pillars of joy. In generosity, there is a wider perspective in which we see our connection to all others. There is a humility that recognizes our place in the world and acknowledges that at another time we could be the one in need. There is a sense of humor and an ability to laugh at ourselves so that we do not take ourselves too seriously. There is an acceptance of life, in which we do not force life to be other than what it is. There is a forgiveness of others and a release of what might otherwise have been. There is a gratitude for all that we have been given. And, we are able to see others with a deep compassion and a desire to help those who are in need.

Hands-Free Wednesday

THE SCENE: Should’ve worn bell bottoms, ‘cause we were in the 60s

F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER

Gently encouraged men to consider a yearly physical.

WARM-O-RAMA:

  • Cherry Pickers IC | Grady Corns IC
  • Windmills IC l
  • SSH IC

THA-THANG:

Mosey to Splash Pad. Descending Ladder.  Do 12 exercises, take lap, drop the top. Do 11 exercises, take lap, and drop the top one.  Etc…

  • 12 — Iron Mikes
  • 11 — 4-Count Hello Dolly
  • 10 — Lunges (each leg)
  • 9 — Flutter Kicks 4Ct
  • 8 — Squats
  • 7— 4-Count Imperial Walkers
  • 6 — 4-Count Pickle Pointers
  • 5 — Box Cutters
  • 4 — Step-Ups (each leg)
  • 3 — American Hammers 4Ct
  • 2 — Squat Jumps
  • 1 — BBS

STRETCHES (Or “confessions of an uncaged starfish”—performed at the request of an anonymous PAX named after a prophylactic):

  • Bend down & grab toes
  • Sit squat

COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA

CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM: Jesus

I Am Mine

THE SCENE: Cool.  If you call 90 degrees cool, which, given recent temps, it actually kind of felt like.  Sunny. Nice puffy clouds.  Slight breeze.
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER

Done.
WARM-O-RAMA:

-20 Side Straddle Hops (4-ct), in cadence

– 10 Cherry Pickers (4-ct), in cadence

– 20 Moroccan Nightclubs

– Michael Phelps

– 10 Plank Jacks (4-ct), in Cadence

THA-THANG:

Mosey to Stop Sign to northeast of admin building.  Do 30 seconds of the following 4 exercises (AMRAP).  Rinse and Repeat.

  1. Froggie Jumps
  2. Rocky Balboas
  3. Bobby Hurleys
  4. Smurf Jacks

Mosey to grassy hill area by side of Everest.  Battle buddy up.  Do 5/10/15s:

  • PARTNER 1 RUNS to top of hill does 5x two exercises, runs back while PARTNER 2 does a slow mosey back and forth in the “bull pen”. Switch. Rinse and repeat two more times, increasing the reps to 10x and 15x.  (* = exercise is a 2-count)
    • Round 1 Exercises: PLANK JACKS AND SHOULDER TAPS *
    • Round 2 Exercises: FLUTTER KICKS* AND BOX CUTTERS

Mosey to Everest.  RUN UP EVEREST to base of Summit

Do 30 seconds of the following 4 exercises.  Rinse and Repeat.

  1. Bottle Openers
  2. Pickle Pounders
  3. Mountain Climbers
  4. Shoulder Taps (changed to Merkins on the second round due to PAX complaints about repeating an exercise)

AYG with Battle Buddy up the Summit, in pairs, cheering on the next pair when we get to the top.  Mosey to AO

MARY:

  1. Crunchy Frogs x10, 4 ct IC (Man, these are hard!)
  2. E2K x 20 4 ct IC left
  3. E2K x20 4 ct IC right

COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
18 Strong
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:

There’s a line from a Pearl Jam song that I love.  The song is called “I Am Mine”, and the line that has been sticking in my head recently is:

“I know I was born and I know that I’ll die.  The in between is mine.”

The song was written by Eddie Vedder after the tragedy at the Roskilde festival in Denmark, where several members in the audience were trampled and killed at a Pearl Jam concert in 2000.  The song has an existential feel to it, and what I appreciate about the lyric I mentioned is that 1.) it acknowledges that we only have a finite amount of time on this earth, and 2) it issues almost a challenge to oneself to make the most of this beautiful gift of life we’ve been given.  Even the title of the song, I AM MINE, declares that the narrator is taking ownership and responsibility for that time in between birth and death.  It’s almost defiant.  I can choose what to do with it.  The in between is mine.

The problem is… we don’t know how long we have to make it ours.  We don’t know exactly how long we have to fully craft the tapestry of our lives.  I had a sudden reminder of that last week with my car accident.  If just one safety feature in my car had failed, I might very well be dead.

Have I lived my life to its fullest?  Have I told those I love how much they mean to me?  Have I made peace with my enemies?  Have I taken that trip that I’ve always wanted to take?  Have I served others enough to have made a difference? Have I fully committed to my Faith and my God?  Fellows, the end to our beautiful gift can come at any moment.  The “in between” is yours.  Use it well.

MOLESKIN:
Prayers for an 8 year old boy who lost his mother in a car accident, and is also paralyzed from it.  Prayers to Jan, Lilydipper’s wife, who was one of the first to talk to the boy following the crash.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
F3 Work Day Aug 6!

No Flame Blower Outers Here

THE SCENE: ‘Bout 88 and breezy
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER done
WARM-O-RAMA:
SSH, rockettes, this and that, runners stretch, and cherry pickers
THA-THANG:
Insert information about the workout.

  • Take all CMUs down 2 flights of stairs, 20 8 ct Spiders, CMU curls until the 6.
  • Bring CMUs up one flight, Run to road; 50 V Sit OH Claps, Run to trees; 50 kneel ups, Return to center, CMU curls until the 6.
  • Bring CMUs to the top and take them to the Bowl
  • Battle Buddy: one runs around the bench; the other Rows, OH Press, squats
  • Change Battle Buddy: one walks the CMU, the other does 20 Squats, run, catch, switch, repeat
  • In the Pit, 360 Merkins (L and R) return CMUs to Flag

COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
12 Fake Gloomers
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:

Adapted from Brene Brown’s “Atlas of the Heart” Chapter 2.

Schadenfreude is a compound of the German words “schaden” meaning harm and “freude” meaning joy.  Schadenfreude simply means, “pleasure or joy derived from someone else’s suffering or misfortune”.  And the world is full of it these days.

Schadenfreude is an emotion typically born out of inferiority rather than superiority.  It is also born out of fear, powerlessness, and a sense of deservedness.  Schadenfreude involves counter empathy, where our emotional reaction is incongruent with another person’s emotional experience.

While schadenfreude may be fun to say, it’s a tough emotion.  There’s a cruelty and insecurity about it.  Taking pleasure in someone else’s failings, even if that person is someone we really dislike, can violate our values and lead to feelings of guilt and shame.

When we feel schadenfreude, it shuts down the area of our brain we use when feeling empathy and lights up areas of the brain that make us feel good and entices us to engage in similar behaviors in the future.  Schadenfreude is especially seductive when we are sucked into groupthink.

It’s easy to build counterfeit connection with collective schadenfreude.  When we see someone who we don’t like, disagree with, or is outside of our group stumble, fall, or fail, it’s tempting to celebrate that suffering together and to stir up collective emotion.  That kind of bonding might feel good for a moment, but nothing that celebrates the humiliation or pain of another person builds lasting connection.

We often don’t talk about our schadenfreude because it can make us feel shame or guilt.  This came up a lot during the pandemic when vaccinated people struggled with feelings of schadenfreude towards anti-VAX folks who were diagnosed with COVID.

From the book:  I remember thinking one day, “It this who I want to be?  Someone who celebrates people getting sick or dying?”  I would justify it by saying they were threatening my health and the health of the people I love. In the end I couldn’t make it work with my values.  I mean, I’m still angry, but without a viable accountability strategy, it’s hard not to let schadenfreude take over.

Freuden-freude is the opposite of schadenfreude.  It’s the enjoyment of another’s success.  When others report success to us, they generally hope for an empathic response of shared joy.  Which is freuden-freude.

If instead they get a negative, competitive reaction, they may respond with confusion, disappointment, irritation, or all three.  Ongoing lack of freuden-freude can eventually pose a fatal challenge to a relationship, and in turn, repeated relationship failures often produce depression.  We suspect that depressed folks might exhibit deficiencies in freuden-freude.

Brown concludes with…In teaching our kids how to cultivate meaningful connection with the people in their lives, we’ve always told them that good friends are not afraid of your light and never blow out your flame.  And you don’t blow out their flame.  Even when their flame is really bright and it makes you worry about your own flame.

When something good happens to you, they celebrate your flame.  When something good happens to them, you celebrate their flame.

We always have our kids hold out there hands, palms flat, and say “If this is your flame and the wind picks up, good friends cups their hands around your flame to keep it from going out.  And you do the same for them.”

We have always said, “No flame blower outers” and that’s our way of saying less schadenfreude and more freuden-freude.

What does this mean for the men of F3?

  • Look anywhere in the world right now and you will see people deriving joy from other’s failures or misfortune.
  • Schadenfreude can make you feel good and really get stirred up in groups of like-minded individuals…and we are a group…so we have to watch ourselves.
  • Because it’s an emotion that rewards the brain, we need an accountability strategy to be sure it doesn’t take over. We need to be that accountability for one another.
  • As leaders in our community, we need to ensure we are protecting and celebrating everyone’s flame. Remember, “no flame blower outers here”.
  • And if we are being good leaders, we will take joy in seeing other’s flames shine even brighter.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
We have Goober in our thoughts and prayers.

My Team Lost!

THE SCENE: Partly cloudy skies, temp in lower 60s.
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER
WARM-O-RAMA:
20 Side Straddle Hops, 5 Burpees, 10 Mountain Climbers, 4 Burpees, 10 Windmills, 3 Burpees, 10 Twisties, 2 Burpees, 10 Baby Arm Circles Forward and Backward, 1 Burpee, Little of This and That
THA-THANG:

Mosey toward stop sign at northeastern end of the admin bldg.  We will stop at the guard rail to do 15 merkins.  Then we will mosey northwest on the perimeter trail and stop when it meets the trail that parallels Lyons Bend.  We will stop to do 20 American Hammers.

Next we will run up Roadshow Run doing the following:

  • At top of first set of steps do 10 Diamond Merkins then run back to trailhead.
  • Run to top of second set of steps and do 10 Diamond Merkins.  Then run back to trailhead.
  • Run to the top of the last set of steps and do 10 Diamond Merkins.  Then circle back down Roadshow Run to pick up the six.

Next we will do a counterclockwise circle, stopping to do the following exercises

  • At bottom of the steps leading to Bat Cave do 20 Carolina Dry Docks
  • At grove area near the summit of Mt. Everest do 5 Burpees
  • At top of Mt. Everest do 20 Flutter Kicks, 4 ct.
  • At Bat Cave do 20 Star Jumps
  • Rinse and Repeat two more times.

Mosey to the stop sign at the northeastern corner of the Admin Bldg.  We will be following a path and stopping at cones on the way.  The path will go on sidewalk, then to steps of Admin Bldg, then back on sidewalk to roadway that leads to coliseum, then on that roadway north back to stop sign.  We will run on this path except where indicated below.  We will stop at cones to do the following exercises:

  • Cone 1 at end of sidewalk:  20 Hello Dollies
  • Cone 2 on steps of Admin Bldg:  20 Calf Raises
  • Cone 3 at start of other sidewalk that goes to coliseum roadway:  20 Merkins
  • Cone 4 at parking area by coliseum roadway:  20 Jump Squat then Bernie Sanders to Cone 5
  • Cone 5 by stop sign an Northeastern corner of Admin Bldg:  20 Big Boy Sit-ups
  • Rinse and repeat two more times

Mosey back to AO

MARY:
20 Side Straddle Hops, 10 Reverse Big Boys.
COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
17 men, no FNGs.
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
My Team Lost!

Being a sports fan is fantastic.  It has been so nice to see fans back in stadiums this year versus seeing those doggone pictures of fans they would put in the seats last year during Covid.  The roar of the crowd helps makes sports what it is.  And, I am a sports fanatic.  There is nothing wrong with that . . . unless I make sports my false idol.  God states in Exodus 20:3 that “You shall have no other Gods before me.”  I think there are many who make sports their God and sometimes I am guilty of it. Think of the amount of time people spend focusing on a sport like football or basketball versus focusing on God.  And think of how much emotion people put into sports versus worship.  Again, I am guilty.  My friend Pele can tell you one of the most frequent statements I make when my Baylor Bears are losing:  “I hate life!”  I say it in fun, but I must admit that I am guilty of feeling kind of like that when my alma mater loses.  Heck, my weekend was almost ruined when both Baylor and Tennessee lost on the same day during March Madness this year.  Only my son Bennett’s engagement to his fiancé, Sarah, saved me from going into a despondent funk.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t go nuts for our favorite sports teams.  That is actually a beautiful thing and I think God sees it that way.  But when people are so consumed by it that their lives become lopsided . . . and, when people are willing to give hush money to others just so that their favorite college can win . . . that is going too far.

As an athlete, sports has taught me so much:  the thrill of competition; the ecstasy of winning; how to put my team and teammates above myself; how to practice, practice, and practice to become become better at a task; how to serve with others in unison for a common cause; how to sacrifice; and, how to lose.  Because sports is about both winning and losing.  I thank sports for what it has taught me.  But sports, I will not make you my idol.  I will put no idols before God.

MOLESKIN:
Prayers of thanks for 3rd birthday of Pusher’s grandson and Jetlag’s son.  Prayers for Swimmie’s grandfather who is having surgery for cancer.  Prayers for the people in Ukraine in the war there.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Starting new F3 site at Kingston in April.