F3 Knoxville

Tag: High-Heels

No Flame Blower Outers Here

THE SCENE: ‘Bout 88 and breezy
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER done
WARM-O-RAMA:
SSH, rockettes, this and that, runners stretch, and cherry pickers
THA-THANG:
Insert information about the workout.

  • Take all CMUs down 2 flights of stairs, 20 8 ct Spiders, CMU curls until the 6.
  • Bring CMUs up one flight, Run to road; 50 V Sit OH Claps, Run to trees; 50 kneel ups, Return to center, CMU curls until the 6.
  • Bring CMUs to the top and take them to the Bowl
  • Battle Buddy: one runs around the bench; the other Rows, OH Press, squats
  • Change Battle Buddy: one walks the CMU, the other does 20 Squats, run, catch, switch, repeat
  • In the Pit, 360 Merkins (L and R) return CMUs to Flag

COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
12 Fake Gloomers
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:

Adapted from Brene Brown’s “Atlas of the Heart” Chapter 2.

Schadenfreude is a compound of the German words “schaden” meaning harm and “freude” meaning joy.  Schadenfreude simply means, “pleasure or joy derived from someone else’s suffering or misfortune”.  And the world is full of it these days.

Schadenfreude is an emotion typically born out of inferiority rather than superiority.  It is also born out of fear, powerlessness, and a sense of deservedness.  Schadenfreude involves counter empathy, where our emotional reaction is incongruent with another person’s emotional experience.

While schadenfreude may be fun to say, it’s a tough emotion.  There’s a cruelty and insecurity about it.  Taking pleasure in someone else’s failings, even if that person is someone we really dislike, can violate our values and lead to feelings of guilt and shame.

When we feel schadenfreude, it shuts down the area of our brain we use when feeling empathy and lights up areas of the brain that make us feel good and entices us to engage in similar behaviors in the future.  Schadenfreude is especially seductive when we are sucked into groupthink.

It’s easy to build counterfeit connection with collective schadenfreude.  When we see someone who we don’t like, disagree with, or is outside of our group stumble, fall, or fail, it’s tempting to celebrate that suffering together and to stir up collective emotion.  That kind of bonding might feel good for a moment, but nothing that celebrates the humiliation or pain of another person builds lasting connection.

We often don’t talk about our schadenfreude because it can make us feel shame or guilt.  This came up a lot during the pandemic when vaccinated people struggled with feelings of schadenfreude towards anti-VAX folks who were diagnosed with COVID.

From the book:  I remember thinking one day, “It this who I want to be?  Someone who celebrates people getting sick or dying?”  I would justify it by saying they were threatening my health and the health of the people I love. In the end I couldn’t make it work with my values.  I mean, I’m still angry, but without a viable accountability strategy, it’s hard not to let schadenfreude take over.

Freuden-freude is the opposite of schadenfreude.  It’s the enjoyment of another’s success.  When others report success to us, they generally hope for an empathic response of shared joy.  Which is freuden-freude.

If instead they get a negative, competitive reaction, they may respond with confusion, disappointment, irritation, or all three.  Ongoing lack of freuden-freude can eventually pose a fatal challenge to a relationship, and in turn, repeated relationship failures often produce depression.  We suspect that depressed folks might exhibit deficiencies in freuden-freude.

Brown concludes with…In teaching our kids how to cultivate meaningful connection with the people in their lives, we’ve always told them that good friends are not afraid of your light and never blow out your flame.  And you don’t blow out their flame.  Even when their flame is really bright and it makes you worry about your own flame.

When something good happens to you, they celebrate your flame.  When something good happens to them, you celebrate their flame.

We always have our kids hold out there hands, palms flat, and say “If this is your flame and the wind picks up, good friends cups their hands around your flame to keep it from going out.  And you do the same for them.”

We have always said, “No flame blower outers” and that’s our way of saying less schadenfreude and more freuden-freude.

What does this mean for the men of F3?

  • Look anywhere in the world right now and you will see people deriving joy from other’s failures or misfortune.
  • Schadenfreude can make you feel good and really get stirred up in groups of like-minded individuals…and we are a group…so we have to watch ourselves.
  • Because it’s an emotion that rewards the brain, we need an accountability strategy to be sure it doesn’t take over. We need to be that accountability for one another.
  • As leaders in our community, we need to ensure we are protecting and celebrating everyone’s flame. Remember, “no flame blower outers here”.
  • And if we are being good leaders, we will take joy in seeing other’s flames shine even brighter.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
We have Goober in our thoughts and prayers.

The Asylum PM’rs Take On The Compound

[ The Scene ]

  • 70s
  • Hot
  • Character building
  • Pre-Ruck with Guppy

[ Welcome/Disclaimer ]

  • Welcome to F3: Fitness – Fellowship – Faith
  • My name is Steam and I’ll be your Q this morning
  • A few things before we begin:
    • I’m not a professional
    • You’re here on your own belief
    • You know your injuries if you have any so if you need to modify anything we do today feel free to do so, but push yourselves and the men around you. They deserve it and so do you.
  • FNGs?

[ Warm o Rama ]

  • 10×4 Around the Clock Lunges (12, 3, 6, 9)
  • 10×4 Cherry Pickers
  • 10×4 Windmill
  • 10×4 merkins 
  • 10×4 SSH

Cash-In with some ATMs

[ The Thang ]

(Mosey to The Compound)

(1) The Timeless Classic: 11s

  • but since today is the 10th, we’ll just do 10s
  • Here: Merkins
  • There: Star jacks
    • (9 + 1, 8 + 2, etc)

(2) Battle Buddy Bays

  • 3 POCs or “bays”
  • 1 BB will wall sit up here + execute raise the roofs until recovered
  • 1 BB will run to the bay and execute 25 reps of an exercise at each of the 3 bays.
    • Bay 1: Merkins
    • Bay 2: Bobby Hurleys
    • Bay 3: LBCs
  • So you and your BB team will graduate from 1 bay to the next. Each BB will complete the X for each bay
  • The wall sits remain the same throughout

(3) There And Back Again

  • 2 POCs: The Compound + The Dock
  • Compound: triad merkins and run to The Dock
    • 1 reg, 1 wide, 1 diamond
    • Run up tue platform and back down, and then up to The Dock
  • The Dock: triad of squats
    • 1 reg, 1 sumo, 1 together and then run back to The Compound
  • Rinse and Repeat, adding 1 rep to each station (round 2: 2 reg, 2 wide, 2 diamond + 2 reg, 2 sumo, 2 together) until you complete 5 reps of each triad.
  • Recover at The Compound

[ Mary ]

American Indian run back up to the AO

BTTW (Balls To The Wall) to the AO about 50 yards out

[ COT ]

  • # off — 9
  • Name o Rama
    • Guppy, Brick, Drum Major, Crispr, High-Heels, F6, Mr. Jinxy, Rooney, Steam
  • FNGs — 0
  • BOM

For my BOM tonight, I’m going to try and listen to myself as I talk, because I really need to hear this, and I feel like this was  put on my heart to share as well, and just maybe, you’ll find some things that will apply to your life as well.

I’d like to start off by sharing a story.

Last night, I was asked to play goalie in my fiancé’s soccer game with her brother and some of the women she coaches at Johnson University. Now I played soccer growing up, and while I did play church league soccer, I also played competitively, but I was always a midfielder or forward. I ran and kicked, I didn’t block. So after some prompting from both my fiancé and future brother in law to play goalie, I said okay, knowing that this was about to be way better than I expected, or way worse than I expected. So we took the field and I was pretty pumped up.

Now I didn’t get too upset when the first 2 goals were scored on me, but man, the last 5 were brutal. One of the 5 was between my legs, another one out of the 5 I mis-timed and tipped it back into the goal for an own goal, and yet another one out of the 5 was shot from midfield and sailed past my head. I was furious. I was ashamed. I was humiliated. I was disappointed. I was upset. I used an expletive or 3 both in my head and out loud. I had failed. I had let the team down. I wasn’t good enough. I was furious with myself for my performance. Even in the midst of my fiancé, future brother in law, and some of the other collegiate women who were on the team’s “Hey you did great” and “We’re just out here to have fun” and “You did way better than I would have done” my internal programming and messaging screamed LIAR. FALSE. INCORRECT. NOT TRUE. I don’t want to be consoled, or comforted or your pity, I know how badly I did out there. After a hasty and very unloving hug and “I love you” I have my fiancé, I sped out of that parking lot in rage for how poorly I had performed.

One thing my fiancé said to me before I left was “You have to stop beating yourself up about this. You need to quit being so hard on yourself.” To which I replied a measly “yeah.” My internal response to this in that moment and all the way home and as I went to bed last night and woke up this morning was “NO I DON’T HAVE TO. I CAN’T STOP. I FAILED AND I AM GOING TO LET MYSELF KNOW IT. IF I STOP BEING HARD ON MYSELF AND BEATING MYSELF UP I WON’T BE GOOD ENOUGH. Whoah…..there’s something deeper there. My fiancé has not heard me communicate any of this to her yet, but she knows me well enough to know what type of humiliating and self-deprecating dialogue was going on internally for me.

Maybe you’ve heard these things before:

  • I’m my own harshest critic
  • I’m so hard on myself
  • I just beat myself up about this or that

As those goals continued to pummel me throughout the game, I kept thinking “Cmon Dan you’re better than this. You should be doing better than this. You’re failing. Goal after goal after goal, the same mental assault crashed like waves on a beach, louder and louder.

Until I realized this – and honestly the Holy Spirit loved me so well in this moment and helped me realize: You’ve never played goalie before Dan. Why did you think that? Why did you think you would be so much better than this? Why did you allow yourself to set standards of near perfection that you were never going to achieve? You’re destroying yourself mentally. I’ve never played goalie before guys. But it didn’t matter, I showed up and gave it my all, shouldn’t I have been better than this?! I MEAN CMON.

And maybe you’ve found yourself on the wrong side of a mental fuse the enemy has lit. And all he has to do is sit back and watch you start to believe that lie a little bit more and a little bit more until you’re furious. And humiliated. And have talked yourself out of grace, mercy, gratitude, and love.

As men we can be so hard on ourselves and beat ourselves up until we are mentally and emotionally and spiritually black and blue. STOP IT. Go easy on yourself. If you’re too hard on yourself like I typically am, here is something I found today, or that found me today, that helped take back some lost ground, mentally.

Three Warning Signs That You’re Too Hard On Yourself

https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/am-i-too-hard-on-myself

            1. First, you’re being too hard on yourself if your failures to meet your standards result in a depressed loss of joy in the Lord.

“Christ has made you his own. That changes everything about how you run your race.”

            1. Second, it’s evidence of a person’s being too hard on himself if his failures result in hurtful anger: hurtful toward himself, inclining him toward habits that are self-destructive, or hurtful toward others.
            1. Third, it’s evidence that he’s being too hard on himself if his failures produce paralyzing fear or anxiety about approaching the tasks of his life. If he feels like he’s fallen short so often that he loses the capacity to attempt anything of significance, it’s evidence that he’s being too hard on himself in the sense that he’s not trusting Christ for the ability to keep him going.

So maybe we change the mental conversation and quit being so hard on ourselves as men. And maybe it sounds something like this:

“I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭3:12-14‬ ‭MSG‬‬ (https://bible.com/bible/97/php.3.12-14.MSG)

 

Wondering Where The Lions Are

THE SCENE: Sunny and warm, temp in low eighties.
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER

THA-THANG:
20 Side Straddle Hops, 10 Burpees, 10 Twisties, 10 Rockettes, 10 Cherry Pickers, 10 Little Baby to Big Wide Arm Circles Forward and 10 Backward

We will mosey past the stop sign at the northeast corner of the Admin Bldg and go to the grassy area by the perimeter trail.  We will do 20 Flutter Kicks in the grass.  Next, will run west on the perimeter trail, stopping every ten lights to do ten of each of the following exercises.  Those arriving to the tenth light first will rinse and repeat until the six has done ten of each exercise.  Here are the exercises for each tenth light:

  • Merkins, Big Boys
  • Squat Jumps, Lunges (each leg = 1)
  • Carolina Dry Docks, Hello Dollies

Next, we will run to Area 51.  Stop at the area by the parking lot on the right.  We will split into teams of two.  While one team member does an exercise, the other runs to the curb at the end of area 51, does 10 jump squats, and runs back.  The partners then switch.  When each partner had done an exercise twice, they shift to the next exercise.  Here are the exercises:

  • Gas pumps
  • Rocky Balboas
  • Diamond Merkins
  • Iron Mikes

Next, we will run up the hill above Area 51 to roadway above the big tree.  Those getting there first will do bench dips until the six arrives.

Mosey to AO by running to gravel parking lot area, walking along the parking lot area, then running to AO.

Next we will do sprints to sign by parking lot and slow job back to where we started.  Repeat sprints three more times.  Then slow jog back to AO.

MARY:

35 Baby Crunches
COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
15 showing, no FNGs.
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
Wondering Where The Lions Are

Have you heard or do you remember the story of Daniel and the Lion’s Den from the Bible?  Daniel was a Jew who was serving Darius, the King of Babylon or Prussia.  Daniel was an excellent administrator and King Darius liked him.  The other administrators and officials of King Darius were jealous of him.  They did know how strongly he worshipped his God.  They planned a scheme where , supposedly to celebrate the king, they convinced King Darius to issue a decree that any person in the kingdom who prayed to or worshipped any God or human for the next 30 days, other than King Darius, should be thrown in a Lion’s Den.  Daniel worshipped his God daily and continued to do so after the decree.  Caught, he was thrown in the Lions Den.  The next morning King Darius rushed to the den to find Darius alive, the ferocious lions acting tamely beside him.  King Darius, who cared for and admired Daniel then proclaimed:

“I issue a decree that in every part of my kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel. For he is the living God and he endures forever”.

As a psychologist, I see many people who suffer from anxiety.  I recently had my first session with a mid-thirties woman who suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (anxiety that occurs after one suffers from a trauma), Social Anxiety (anxiety about being in social situations), and Agoraphobia (condition where a person panics if they leave their household). Ten years ago, she could hardly leave her home without breaking down. She even had difficulty answering phone calls, too anxious to talk to strangers.  Fortunately, she met a therapist who helped her out. He talked to her about how anxiety can be incredibly crippling but that some anxiety can be gradually overcome through something called exposure therapy.  If people, who have been frightened in the past, can expose themselves to the situation they fear and see that nothing disastrous happens, the anxiety can, over time, decrease.  He used a metaphor with my patient.  He said if we were to open a door and have a ferocious lion attack us, we would be very frightened of ever opening that door again, even if the lion was taken away and people tried to rationally convince us there was no lion there anymore.  We may panic trying to open the door and our hearts might pound like crazy.  But, each day, if we continued to open the door and see that no lion was there, we would gradually be less anxious about doing it.  We might not ever fully wipe out the anxiety but we would be better off.  That is what has happened to this lady.  She still gets nervous when going into public settings but can now do so.  And she wants to continue that process so that in the future, she will be even better at it.

In life, we face difficult and challenging situations.  We get burned sometimes in these situations or we fail at them.  We then fear trying similar situations.  We worry about the consequences.  We worry that we can’t face up to the situation.  But, if we can expose ourselves to the challenging situations and learn from them, we grow.  If we can trust that God is on our side, we can tame the lions we fear.

One of my favorite songwriters, Bruce Cockburn, wrote a song that talks about the ecstasy that comes with belief in God and His eternity.  He also talks about about how fear is diminished with the knowledge of this belief.  I will finish my message with some lines from that song which is entitled, “Wondering Where the Lions Are”:

Sun’s up . . . looks okay
The world survives into another day
And I’m thinking ’bout eternity
Some kinda ecstasy got a hold on me

I had another dream about lions at the door
They weren’t half as frightening as they were before
But I’m thinking ’bout eternity
Some kinda ecstasy got a hold on me.

And I’m wondering where the lions are
I’m wondering where the lions are
I’m wondering where the lions are.

MOLESKIN:

Prayers for safe travels for Pusher and Rusty on their vacation.  Prayers for Thunderstruck and his family after the death of his mother.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
CSAUP tomorrow night at Haw Ridge, 9 pm.

The Myth of Talent

THE SCENE: Scrumptiously perfect.  Low 70s, partly cloudy, very light breeze
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER

You know the drill.
WARM-O-RAMA:

20 SSHs (4-CT, IC) / 10 Steve Earles (4-CT, IC) / 10 WINDMILLS (4-CT, IC) / 10 Tempo Merkins (4-CT, IC) / 10 BACs forward and backward (4-CT, IC)

THA-THANG:

MOSEY to Field below Colosseum.

Do a KRAKEN.  Five cones.   Do 5 reps of 3 exercises (Carolina Dry Docks/Squats/BBS) at Cone 1, then run around circle plus one cone.  Add 5 reps to each cone until back at cone one, so last cone will have 25x each exercise

MOSEY to Area 51.

MUCHO CHESTO (10 Merkins, 10 Wide Ms, 10 Diamond Ms, 10 Staggered Ms Left and 10 Right)

MOSEY to EVEREST.  BERNIE to the Summit until failure, run the rest of the way.

At the Base of the Summit:

HILLS AND ABS:

  • 10 LBCs, 10 BBSs, run up the hill and back. R&R 3 more times adding 10 reps to exercises.

MARY:
Bear Crawl Ring of fire (Bear crawl in a circle 1 rotation, then PAX do 5 merkins each, R&R).

COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
13 strong (Cheetah Boy not tagged)
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
Read Kurt Vonnegut’s quote during an interview where he told an archeologist about his varied interests, but how he was not good at any of them.  The archeologist replied how important it was to gain those experiences regardless of “success” at the endeavors.  This forever changed Vonnegut’s perception of himself and of succuss vs. failure.  Don’t feel that endeavors you pursue are not worthwhile just because you don’t reach a high level of success at them.  This is the myth of talent.  Success is not driven by society or your peer base, but how your experiences shape you and how you find joy in them.
MOLESKIN:
Prayers of praise for Cheetah Boy finishing the Harry Potter series.  Prayers to be with Brick and Matlock as they spread the message of their journey. Prayers for Steam and his coworkers.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Haw Ridge CSAUP, one week from tomorrow!

Work Hard then Slow Down

THE SCENE: Sunny, not too warm but humid after rain earlier in the day
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER
WARM-O-RAMA:

20 side straddle hops in cadence

10 windmills

10 baby arm circles each way

Little of this and that

10 rockettes

5 burpees

THA-THANG:

Mosey to Grinch’s Hill

7/1’s

7 merkins up top

1 jump squats at bottom

Until get to 1 at top and 7 at bottom

 

Mosey to parking lot for Doras (battle buddy up)

100 bird dogs (5 each leg, demonstrate touch opposite leg and knee from on ground – switch side every 10)

100 squats

60 hand release merkins

 

Mosey to the Coliseum – Takeoff on baseball

Have to go 1st, do exercise come back home, go to 2nd…etc.

1st base – 20 flutter kicks

2nd base – 20 major merkins? (almost like diver bombers, but back over knees then out over hands)

3rd base – 20 Bobby Hurleys

Circle all the way around to home and do 5 burpees and then LBCs until the 6 comes in.

 

Mosey to top of Pickett’s Charge/Coliseum

Reverse Pickett’s Charge suicide

Run down to 1st tier – 10 imperial walkers – each leg is 1

Run down to 2nd tier – 5 prisoner getups

MARY:
Came back to AO right on time
COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
Use the TAGS on right-side to record PAX (BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOURSELF) in attendance. Be sure to select the AO in CATEGORY above TAGS and then delete these notes!
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
Spoke on not rushing and taking time and slowing down to do things right and stress out less. Shared the following quote:

“Sometimes I think there are only two instructions we need to follow to develop and deepen our spiritual life: slow down and let go.” – Oriah Mountain Dreamer

MOLESKIN:
Prayers for Thunderstrucks Mom. She has chosen to stop with blood transfusions. Prayers for him and his whole family as they face the possible loss.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Insert information about upcoming events, 2nd or 3rd F opportunities, and any other announcements.