THE SCENE: ‘Bout 88 and breezy
F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER done
WARM-O-RAMA:
SSH, rockettes, this and that, runners stretch, and cherry pickers
THA-THANG:
Insert information about the workout.
- Take all CMUs down 2 flights of stairs, 20 8 ct Spiders, CMU curls until the 6.
- Bring CMUs up one flight, Run to road; 50 V Sit OH Claps, Run to trees; 50 kneel ups, Return to center, CMU curls until the 6.
- Bring CMUs to the top and take them to the Bowl
- Battle Buddy: one runs around the bench; the other Rows, OH Press, squats
- Change Battle Buddy: one walks the CMU, the other does 20 Squats, run, catch, switch, repeat
- In the Pit, 360 Merkins (L and R) return CMUs to Flag
COUNT-OFF & NAME-O-RAMA
12 Fake Gloomers
CIRCLE OF TRUST/BOM:
Adapted from Brene Brown’s “Atlas of the Heart” Chapter 2.
Schadenfreude is a compound of the German words “schaden” meaning harm and “freude” meaning joy. Schadenfreude simply means, “pleasure or joy derived from someone else’s suffering or misfortune”. And the world is full of it these days.
Schadenfreude is an emotion typically born out of inferiority rather than superiority. It is also born out of fear, powerlessness, and a sense of deservedness. Schadenfreude involves counter empathy, where our emotional reaction is incongruent with another person’s emotional experience.
While schadenfreude may be fun to say, it’s a tough emotion. There’s a cruelty and insecurity about it. Taking pleasure in someone else’s failings, even if that person is someone we really dislike, can violate our values and lead to feelings of guilt and shame.
When we feel schadenfreude, it shuts down the area of our brain we use when feeling empathy and lights up areas of the brain that make us feel good and entices us to engage in similar behaviors in the future. Schadenfreude is especially seductive when we are sucked into groupthink.
It’s easy to build counterfeit connection with collective schadenfreude. When we see someone who we don’t like, disagree with, or is outside of our group stumble, fall, or fail, it’s tempting to celebrate that suffering together and to stir up collective emotion. That kind of bonding might feel good for a moment, but nothing that celebrates the humiliation or pain of another person builds lasting connection.
We often don’t talk about our schadenfreude because it can make us feel shame or guilt. This came up a lot during the pandemic when vaccinated people struggled with feelings of schadenfreude towards anti-VAX folks who were diagnosed with COVID.
From the book: I remember thinking one day, “It this who I want to be? Someone who celebrates people getting sick or dying?” I would justify it by saying they were threatening my health and the health of the people I love. In the end I couldn’t make it work with my values. I mean, I’m still angry, but without a viable accountability strategy, it’s hard not to let schadenfreude take over.
Freuden-freude is the opposite of schadenfreude. It’s the enjoyment of another’s success. When others report success to us, they generally hope for an empathic response of shared joy. Which is freuden-freude.
If instead they get a negative, competitive reaction, they may respond with confusion, disappointment, irritation, or all three. Ongoing lack of freuden-freude can eventually pose a fatal challenge to a relationship, and in turn, repeated relationship failures often produce depression. We suspect that depressed folks might exhibit deficiencies in freuden-freude.
Brown concludes with…In teaching our kids how to cultivate meaningful connection with the people in their lives, we’ve always told them that good friends are not afraid of your light and never blow out your flame. And you don’t blow out their flame. Even when their flame is really bright and it makes you worry about your own flame.
When something good happens to you, they celebrate your flame. When something good happens to them, you celebrate their flame.
We always have our kids hold out there hands, palms flat, and say “If this is your flame and the wind picks up, good friends cups their hands around your flame to keep it from going out. And you do the same for them.”
We have always said, “No flame blower outers” and that’s our way of saying less schadenfreude and more freuden-freude.
What does this mean for the men of F3?
- Look anywhere in the world right now and you will see people deriving joy from other’s failures or misfortune.
- Schadenfreude can make you feel good and really get stirred up in groups of like-minded individuals…and we are a group…so we have to watch ourselves.
- Because it’s an emotion that rewards the brain, we need an accountability strategy to be sure it doesn’t take over. We need to be that accountability for one another.
- As leaders in our community, we need to ensure we are protecting and celebrating everyone’s flame. Remember, “no flame blower outers here”.
- And if we are being good leaders, we will take joy in seeing other’s flames shine even brighter.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
We have Goober in our thoughts and prayers.
